Thursday, December 24, 2020

Lower your expectations. Or perhaps: Eliminate expectations.

What does Elmer's glue have to do with Xmas eve? Nothing. I just grabbed the first envelope I could find. It is one that Sam kindly sent to help me fill the blog with variety.

For the past 2 or 3 years, I have included a little holiday-memory-story in the Dec 24th post. I do spend time pondering which of my holiday memories might be entertaining. As luck would have it Mr Wilson is providing a story for 2020 - in real time (in 2019) -- which is helpful - in a convoluted way.

It doesn't work out for our kids to be in town for Xmas so it's a pretty low key holiday for the two of us. But the traditional Wilson family Xmas eve dinner is a fair amount of work and I am still willing to provide it - even though it is for just the two of us. I do not hide the fact that I need my time and space and no interruptions so that I get everything done just right. And I expect people to be ready to eat at the appointed time. One of my pet peeves is when when people put a lot of work into a meal and then the guests are so engrossed in their drinks and chit chat that they don't herd themselves towards the food with eager anticipation when the hostess announces that the food  is served. I coach my family members on how to act like they are wildly excited that the food is ready and herd themselves appropriately. Mr Wilson has generally had enough of the coaching that he's usually on board with my script and needs no prompting.

So -- here we are on Dec 24th of 2019. I have the traditional family Xmas eve dinner ready to cook. Mr Wilson knows that the meal will be at 4 pm. Yes, that's a weird time for dinner -- but that's how it works.

So even though that 4 pm dinner on the 24th is agreed upon -- at 3 pm on the 23rd, he gets off the phone and tells me that he has to meet with someone at 4 pm on the 24th to provide some kind of help to that person.  Apparently he is running some kind of helper hotline.

I just nod and say, "OK." I do not mention that he has double booked himself. I'm curious if he will realize it on the 24th when he sees me cooking.

The whole point of this post is sharing with you -in real time- my decision making process on how to adjust the dining experience.

Am I going to eat by myself at the appointed hour? Or am I going to delay the dinner - knowing full well that he is prone to losing track of time. A lot. And knowing that I am not pleasant when I'm hungry. [massive understatement] I suppose I can nibble (a lot) and then just pretend to eat a meal with him, later.

The title of the post is *lower your expectations.* Or perhaps it should be *delete the whole concept of expectations.* (Yes, I did go back and use the word eliminate after I thought of it.)

I hope I do not sound snarky. It's really fine. Sometime during 1981, Mr Wilson came home late and noticed that baby Ellen had tossed her pancakes on the floor and he asked, "Are those OK to eat?" And when I assured him that they were just fine, he ate them. So, it's not like he's picky at all. He's the easiest person to feed.

Maybe there will be a postscript telling what transpired.

May you all have pleasant and carefree holidays - with people who adhere to the schedule.

***
Here is the postscript. Around 1PM Mr Wilson asked, "What are we going to do about dinner?" Apparently he realized that he was double booked. I said I could bump it up to 3 - and then we could snack later if we got hungry. It actually worked out just fine. Not my best Xmas eve story...but I'm going to leave it in -- unless I reread it closer to the date and think of a better story.

***
Dec 23, 2020.
Not the best story -- but these are wacky times. I already know what the story for Dec 24, 2021 is going to be and it's a doozy. 

I like how Sam often added something fun on the back.





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